The End is Near

I should probably say the end has come, as for most of us, I hear school got out last week. For my district, today is basically the last day, though everyone but high school will be going tomorrow. I got these off a friends blog, because they are soooo funny. My husband and I have both worked in the school district and the only thing we would do, is change/compare some of it from teachers to tech support -- he gets questions all the time like "Don't you have the summer off???" Rigggghhhht.

1. YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground
should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
2. YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person
who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.'
3. YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own
child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't
bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.
4. YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or
if it going to rain, snow, hail...anything! without ever looking outside.
5. YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool'
should have its own box on a report card.
6. YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable
evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow
today.'(or you try very hard to not even think it)
7. YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the
urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct
their behavior.
8. YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between
August and June. (I don't quite get this one...whatever)
9. YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have
a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents
managed to reproduce.
11. YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when
people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'
12. YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious
parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are
willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decide to move
out of district.
13. YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be
available in intravenous form.
14. YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU
could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then
requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever
be misunderstood by the public.
15. YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly
answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'
16. YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram
over a parent conference.
17. YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent
antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!
18. YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for
this?' has ever come out of your mouth.
19. YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes,
and seconds are left in the school year!

Comments

Nice list.

I'm not a school employee, just a mom, but I still find it funny.
That was pretty funny. I've thought some of these several times.

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