Time management???

Well...so - my hubby and I have been taking some classes at night that are sponsored by the church.  There are 4 courses, and they all revolve around being self reliant.  It's a beta thing...I guess.  Although it's already all around the world.  It's just North America that's late in evolving...  sigh.  Is that a first world problem?  lol

Anyway - I wanted to take the class on business, (I'm trying to get my world growing, ya know? lol) and he wanted to take the class on finance.  He's also the ward employment specialist, so he figured he should take that to help out those who might need his expertise.  He's since wondered what he was thinking (ending up taking 3 of the 4 classes at the same time) and I've wondered where these classes were 20 years ago.  I could have really used the finance one!!!  (we go together to the 2 of them...we LOVE spending time together.  :)   )

There are two parts to this whole thing, and we have like a gospel principle that we learn about the same time we are learning other skills.  This week we were encouraged to be more wise in how we spent our time.  In the past it's been having balance in your life and the like.
One of the questions they want you to think about is in 25 years, what do you think you'll say when you look back on your life?  Are you going to be full of regrets or are you going to be happy with what you've spent your time doing?
Well...it's hard to say how I'm going to feel in 25 years, because, ya know...that's in the future.  But I know how I feel looking BACK at where I was 25 years ago.
I'm sorry to say that I do have some regrets.  Most of them have to do with how I raised my children.  I'm forced to make excuses for myself in that I really had no examples until I was in my late teens, early 20's as to what a stable happy family was like.
LONG bit of background story folks...skip to the end of you aren't interested, lol.
Many of you might not know that my mother passed away when I was 4 due to illness, and my father took his own life when I was 7.  He had remarried in between, divorced the second wife (who was almost the perfect example of the AWFUL step-mother - I'm trying to repent, really), and then was engaged to a different woman when he died.  (she was awesome, we would have been SOOO happy!  :(  )  We (my two older brothers...by loads of years, lol) were then put in foster homes.  My first foster home had one other child, a boy that they had adopted. He was about 6 months older than me, and from a very large family that couldn't afford to feed the children.  He ended up being a juvenile delinquent and breaking hearts along the way.  My grandpa died when I was 12.  My foster dad died when I was 14ish...and then my oldest brother got married in Utah.  The word ZION as all out of staters know it, lol.  I fell in love with Utah and decided California was not the place to be anymore.  Especially since my foster mother had decided religion was no longer convenient and I was the only one going to church.
The foster services decided that meant I wanted a different family in California, and sent me to a couple in northern cal that had been previously married (her three times, twice to the same man; him just once) and different sets of children were living with them.  I was right in the middle...  At least they were active in going to church, which made things easier...but they had wanted a baby - not a teenage girl.  When I was ending my junior year in high school, they decided that they wanted to spend their time building a new multilevel marketing business and all the kids were farmed out to ex's.  It was decided that I would go to Utah, despite the fact that no one really had room for me...
And it was the best thing ever.
My sister-in-law came from a family of 9 kids.  By the time I moved to Utah, they had 2 of them married, and one foster.  I stayed with my brother and sister-in-law and new little baby of less than a year old for about 2 weeks, and then her mother said I should come live with them.  I thought that was cool.  They had a nice house and lots of kids and I got along with the foster kid.  (He was part of the Indian Foster program to get the kids off the reservations.)  She found out I knew how to sew and we were great buds, sewing my own swimming suit and stuff.  She liked to paint, and found out I did too, and we did some tole painting.  When school started, she suggested I just go with her kids and we'd see what happened.  I turned 18 in October, and no one was going to take a foster kid that old.  They were very patient with the gun shy, somewhat anxious teenager that didn't like to share and clung to everything she had.  By Christmas they had decided that I was part of the family and that I just needed to stay.  It was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me.  They have been grandparents to my children, and aunts and uncles to them.  They still are.  I am still part of the family.  But ...now to the present.  and then back to 25 years ago.

Now you see why I say my parenting skills were lacking.  I didn't know what to do with a baby...let alone what to do with a bunch of little kids.  And I had a bunch.  I have 7 of them, and the first 2 were twins.  I have no excuse other than when it comes to saying no to my hubby, it's just about impossible.  lol
I did do my best...and they have no real complaints.  But they each have their struggles.  All of them (well, okay, one is borderline) have ADHD.  Two of them are autistic - fortunately on the high functioning side and we don't have loads of health problems.  So far only one has gone on a mission.  Two are married (one for the second time already :-/  ) and I have 4 grandchildren.  The two that are married are not in the church - and aren't raising our grandchildren to know the Lord.  It's the hardest thing to see. the one's that aren't married are still living at home.  If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you'll know how I feel about that, lol.
So - I'm trying to live each day with a little less regret than the one before.
I try to remember that there are things more important than time schedules.  Grandchildren, for one - are God's gift to us for surviving our children.  lol
I'm trying to remember that the gospel is what gives me strength, and that reading and learning more each day will help me be where I want to be in 25 years.
I am so very blessed in my life.  From my wonderful husband who supports and loves me to my extended family and children.  This world is an amazing place.
Just wanted to share that with ya...  Have a great one!

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