The Art of Thanksgiving

Have you ever thought about why we celebrate this day, once a year? I know we've all been taught it was about the Pilgrims and the Indians, and how they made it through the summer and had a good harvest, etc.

This is all good, and we should remember those who came before, but I'm thinking now. Today. Traditions.

In the world we live in, we have so much to be thankful for. We have much, so very much more than many of those in the world. We have food, shelter, clothing, employment, freedom of speech, transportation of our own, families, etc. The list is endless.

I've been out of the country only a few times, and it's always been to Mexico or the Caribbean. To see how people live on less than $100 a week, in small apartments or shacks, struggling to put food on their tables every day, working at jobs most American's would rather not do -- it's amazing. It's very humbling, and it made me appreciate where I live even more.

At this special time, I want to share my Thanks with you. I came from a poor background; my parents both died when I was young and I spent most of my youth in foster homes. These homes were good, (wonderful by some stories I've heard) and I eventually found the parents that I call Mom and Dad.

The mainstay in my life the whole time was the knowledge of my Savior, Jesus Christ. Through all my trials and hardships, through all my joys and happiness, He has been there.

It's because of His many blessings that I can enjoy the life I now have. I have a wonderful loving husband, several happy and loving children, a home, a job, and many, many extended family members who love me.

If I were to pass away tomorrow, I would be a happy woman in the knowledge that while I wasn't perfect, I had made progress.

One of the things that has stood out to me in my transition from one home to another, was the traditions we create in our homes. One of those days full of traditions is Thanksgiving. I'm sure many of you have them -- who cuts the turkey, who cooks the turkey, who makes the best pies, etc.

Thanksgiving is a special time for me. I treasure the whole day with family, and the day is ripe with tradition. Each member has a special place in my heart for the joy they have brought. In the morning we go shooting -- which may sound strange, but having several gun enthusiasts in the family and a brother who is now retired law enforcement -- they like to shoot clay pigeons. I think it's a male bonding thing, but there are some girls that come too. The wives rarely come, which I find interesting.

I always go. I like spending time watching my brother and my husband interact with our children and their cousins and uncles. The married nephews and nieces in-laws have adopted the tradition with us and many of them join in the fun -- one of them even bringing their automated thrower. Everyone loves that, let me tell you.

Then we go home, clean up and head over to my sisters for dinner (when it's our year -- this year it's my husbands family, so we won't be going) and there will be a feast to both the eyes and the stomach. Children pretty much behave themselves, no one breaks anything, everyone helps clean up afterward, and we hang out until we're so full we can't possibly move anymore or until it's time to head home.

My children look forward to it every year.

We try to instill in them the idea of thankfulness, but I'm never really sure how much it sinks in. This year I think we're gonna talk about it the day before when we have our waffle dinner. (Which is another tradition.) Somehow several years ago, we decided we needed something simple the night before. My husband made waffles, and it has stuck. The children know they can count on them the night before Thanksgiving. We gather as a family unit and share our excitement, joy and love for each other.

I hope you have many rich traditions in your house. I hope you are teaching your children wonderful traditions that will live through their lives and bring joy to them and their children.

Hopefully it will be a tradition of love for the Savior and His gifts...as well as all the many blessings we enjoy in this free land.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Return to the Neighborhood.

Readying For The Season

One of the things I love about those big fancy home magazines is the large glossy photos of their homes. Don't you just see your kitchen in one of them? Wouldn't you love to have the covered chairs with matching ribbons, clean linen table cloth with matching napkins and matching silverware, fancy goblets and candles glowing softly in the romantic setting? (romance isn't only about love...)

And then reality hits. You lower the magazine to see your own table with it's plastic cover (so the wood doesn't get ruined by multiple spills), unmatched chairs, plastic plates and glasses, mis-matched flatware and worn tablecloth that has seen two generations and was handed down by mom.

You sigh.

You look at the photo and then back at your table, and then at the children happily running through the house, innocently unaware that they are the object of your thoughts.

Which would you rather have -- happy children who don't have to worry about spoiling the table, or a perfect home? Well, long ago, I finally discovered that the children were more important, but I did manage to hang onto some of my nice things.

While it's important that children know they are more precious than gold -- sometimes they need to experience what it means to take care of fine things. To enjoy them and take care of them.

We have found that children learn to take care of things through practice and example. We are fond of china and crystal in my family when it comes to Thanksgiving. My mother always put out the best, and when there were younger children, they had their own tables, usually without the china and crystal, but still with nicer plates and glasses.

Now that I'm married and go to two different Thanksgiving celebrations (we trade years like everyone else...grin) I find it interesting how different the two families celebrate things. My in-laws use paper plates, plastic ware and paper cups. We have nice table clothes, usually, but paper napkins and such. Clean up is usually pretty easy, and their focus is on family time and games. She doesn't really do a lot of decorating for Thanksgiving, and her Christmas decorations aren't usually out yet.

My family does the whole bit -- linen table clothes, napkins, (usually folded in intricate designs by my sister who loves to do such things) Crystal, real silver and nice serving dishes. It's still served buffet style, as my in-law's do, but we are much more aware of the day, we are all dressed nice, and it seems more special somehow.

It also takes more work. We usually set up things the night before, and my sister takes the nieces and nephews to help set and learn the art of fine dining. (Sometimes reluctantly...) Clean up usually takes a joint effort, but it doesn't take long with everyone washing and drying and helping clean up. We all feel it's worth it. Then we sit and gab, and usually desert is on paper plates...it all depends on the consensus.

My sisters house where we hold dinner, is very large and was built with the idea of entertaining family during the holidays and for family gatherings. She designed her kitchen with that in mind, and it really makes it nice. She usually has her Christmas decorations up as well, which really adds to the mood.

What I'm trying to get at with these two comparisons, is that sometimes decorating and preparation make a meal a special thing. Using fine china and crystal is something that everyone should experience if they can, and I think it lends a feeling of civilization to the event. I'm sure there are lots of families that figure Thanksgiving is all about bowl games and how much you can eat--but I like to think it's more than that, and we try to have our children experience it. I notice that our children act differently when at my sister's home compared to my in-law's. They act more refined, aren't as likely to run crazily through the house, and readily say please and thank you.

While they still say please and thank you at grandma's, it's usually in a teasing way, and they jostle each other in line, laugh more loudly, and generally act more casual. I'm sure there are pro's and con's to both sides, but for now, I'm encouraging the more formal of the two.

Our family feels it's an occasion to share time, memories and the finer things of life. It revolves around the meal, but that is just an excuse. We love to gather together and spend time together. Thanksgiving is the one time that everyone who can, comes for dinner -- even the older nieces and nephews that normally are too busy.



If you don't have family to visit during this time of year, maybe they live too far away for finances, or you don't have anyone living, it leaves it to you to make your holiday a special one. If you have small children, this is doubly hard, since they don't really understand the reason and feelings.

It takes time. It will come, they will grow, and you can establish traditions now that bring joy and stability in the years to come. We may not all have the ultra fancy dining rooms with covered chairs and crystal, but we can have nice things that show pride and caring about how we live and what we love.

That is the art of living at home.

Return to the Neighborhood.

Relaxing is an Art

Sometimes when we enter this time of year, we find stress. It's a friend that many of us know well. However, it doesn't have to be.

I think November is a great time to sit back and take stock of our blessings. Thanksgiving is a week away, and all of us have many things to be thankful for. Many of us have family, friends, a home to keep us dry and warm, and employment to help us provide for ourselves.

We have food in abundance available and if we are fortunate, we have health and strength. There is the wonderful freedoms we experience living in one of the best countries on the planet -- even if you don't live in the US or Canada -- I'll bet you are thankful for your homeland.

There was a book written several years ago that my mom gave me. It was a book about gratitude. In the book she suggested that you keep a gratitude journal and write down five things each day that you are grateful for.

I did it faithfully for awhile, and then discovered that I would rather enumerate my thankfulness to Heavenly Father in prayer than write them down each night. Writing them down seemed monotonous and repetitive, as if I weren't finding anything new in each day. It became a burden, when it was supposed to be helping me find peace.

I agree that writing in a journal is important and we should list our blessings each day -- but sometimes when life seems stressed, it's time to take a breath and relax.

Find a quiet place, grab a notebook, a piece of chocolate (or 2), a cup of chocolate or herbal tea, and give yourself a half hour. If a half hour is too long, take fifteen minutes -- but you need the time. You've heard the Peter Pan Mantra -- Find your happy place? This is the time to do it.

Sit and close your eyes and think about your life. What are you thankful for? The way your hubby fixed the squeaky chair for you? Or how he prepared dinner the other night to give you a break? How about your children...what have they done that bring blessings into your life?

There is so much to be thankful for. Just a few moments of thinking about it, and you'll be able to list them out on the paper. Just keep going. Think of as many as possible and see how full you can get the paper.

You might be surprised what you come up with.

The Beauty of Tradition

In Relief Society a couple of weeks ago we had a lesson on traditions. It was titled, Righteous Traditions. Many of us think of traditions as those things we do as a big family thing -- Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, reunions, etc. The lesson pointed out that there are other traditions that are much more important; family prayer, family scripture study, Family Home Evening, etc. It was an enlightening lesson, and I appreciated it's value.

Today, because of the date (Canadian Thanksgiving, if you don't know), I'm reminded of the regular family traditions. Have you ever thought of the art and beauty involved? Sometimes that could be taken sarcastically if your family is one that doesn't get along, so it's an act of chaos control to keep everyone from killing each other before the day is over.

But if your family is made richer by the regular traditions that help keep the family ties strong. I came from a multi family youth. I don't really remember anything deeply traditional about any of the families I lived with other than celebrating Christmas. How each Christmas was celebrated was different, so there were no real traditions in my mind.

When I moved in with those who I call Mom and Dad, I discovered they had many traditions. By the time I went on my mission, I came to count on those traditions as a way of knowing where they were and what they were doing. I felt like I was back home for just a moment, and felt their love close. I remember having a conversation with my brother when I called home, and listing off all the things they were doing. He was totally surprised that I would remember what he thought were trivial things.

To me it was beauty and art. The beauty of family and the rich ties that bind through hard times and good.

We are entering the season of family activity. We have traditions that start with Halloween and go through the week of Christmas. Traditions that include decorating our home, remembering those who live outside of the state, and joining together with extended family.

They are times I treasure and look forward to every year. To a girl that grew up without traditions and such love in her youth, these times are like mana from Heaven.

Today we celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving. It became a tradition because my husband served a mission in Toronto, Ontario Canada. He feels he is an adopted Canadian, and so I've tried to honor that feeling by holding a small Thanksgiving dinner on that day every year. We have tradition of using china, crystal, quality silverware and cloth napkins on Thanksgiving day, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner. These items are indications that we are recognizing the day as being different -- special.

When I went to Hawaii last year, the family was getting ready to cook a turkey, even though I was gone. They didn't have much with it, apparently -- I have girls who will only cook if forced...lol -- but they knew it was important to keep up with tradition.

Kind of reminds me of the movie Everafter where the little girl tells her new stepmother that they need to wait -- "It's tradition!"

As we start to decorate our homes in celebration of fall, the gorgeous colors the world shows for it's farewell to summer and the wonderful family gatherings ahead -- you might ponder what traditions you have as a family. Are they good traditions that bring everyone joy? Do they enrich your lives? Do they draw you closer together?

I wish everyone a wonderful Canadian Thanksgiving! I need to go put the turkey in the oven...

Dysfunctional? So ARe We - But I'm Still thankfull!

Interesting enough to me, but all the new holiday movies are about dysfunctional families. I find that somewhat sad. I mean, while it is true that most families in modern society are broken homes, meaning that one or both of the parents have been divorced once and or sometimes twice, there are still those that are solid.

My parents never divorced, my husbands parents never divorced, and we have informed our children that it's not in the forseable future that we would divorce. (we actually had them ask that question once when their friends parents were getting divorced.) We have tried to teach our children solid values, good work ethics and manners.

Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the norm anymore. Isn't that a sad thing? Wasn't a happy home with a mom that cares about her kids and the dad working to support them the thing we were all aiming for?

Well, I will continue to watch the good old favorites. I love The Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. We love A Christmas Carol, especially the one with George C. Scott.

I guess while I know that not everyone can have a happy family, that those of us who do could possibly share that with others, and so that more people can know what to reach for. I think the holiday season is a time that we should all do more service, work in a soup kitchen perhaps, or volunteer somewhere else.

Service brings us closer to joy, and it also lets our children see that they do have it better than most, even if they don't have all the little toys their friends do.

We try to pick one or two families in our area that might be struggling to do something for during the Christmas season. Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and we are getting short on time, I've been asking the kids to think of who we can serve this year, and what we can do for them.

Today I ponder all the blessings I've had in my life.

That I could land on my feet with my wonderful parents to guide me the latter part of my teen years totally amazes me. Then, that I could find and marry such a wonderful man who loves me and treats me like a queen. I'm thankful that I was blessed with 7 children, despite the fact that I want to sell them to the black market most days...grin. I'm extremely thankful for the country in which I live, that gives me the freedom to worship how I may, and say what I want and do what I want. Where I have opportunities every day to grow and improve, and have a blog like this.

I'm also very thankful for friends who support me and give me kind words. Thanks to all of you, and I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by family and friends. Try not to eat too much...lol