Just when you thought it couldn't get worse...

Have you ever had a child (one in the midst of a trial so terrible they think there isn't anything worse) ask how could it get any worse?

We had that experience over the weekend. This child has made choices that has put them in the middle of a nightmare. There are many things that could be worse, but then again -- they could be lots better...

Then Sunday this same child called and decided to come clean...tell me all the things they had been trying to hide that they did wrong because they didn't feel good about lying about it anymore. Greeaaattt.... That makes me feel SO much better. NOT.

It's one of those moments where you know that they were probably mixed up in stuff that was going on, but were hoping with a mother's hope that they were smarter than that. Sigh. My hubby had suspected all along. My other children (the older ones) had suspected as well...but I had held onto the hope that my child wouldn't do something like that. The one that had lambasted the nonmember uncle when age 12 for smoking and didn't he know how terrible it was for you...yeah -- that one. (And no, this isn't just about smoking...;) )

I felt so naive, so -- stupid -- to have not seen it coming. My hubby told me that my hope was what made it bearable for him to try and have hope. While that was sweet of him, I still felt as if my feet had been knocked out from under me.

Yesterday I ended up pretty much doing nothing all day. My poor hubby didn't have that option, and tried studying his night school stuff while waiting to see if anyone needed him at a training meeting he was assigned to help. By the time dinner rolled around I was able to focus a little, and today is much better. I'm feeling a little back to normal, but I wonder if things will ever be the same. Our family will never be the same -- this will always be something in the back of our minds.

I think we need to go swimming and try and forget for a while. We just have to remember the sun block since a couple of them are still recovering from sun burns at the Young Adult trip last week. (Bear Lake is soooo known for that)

At least my wedding anniversary is tomorrow...a bright spot in the week.