Winter Snow is finally here

It's a gorgeous winter day. I'm sure there are others who would not agree with me, but I think it's gorgeous. One reason is I'm not working today. I promised myself the last time it snowed big time, that I would NOT be traveling in it. My job is NOT a critical one, I don't get paid enough to spend over an hour on the road and then another hour getting home. So...I'm home. My hubby went though, and he has vacation or sick time. He decided he needed to be there.
So, Here I am, gazing at the snow, and enjoying every bit of it. I do have to go out later, but by them I'll be ready and most of the roads will have been plowed.
There's something about everything in white. It makes me think of Heaven and Purity and our Heavenly Father's love for us. It's glorious.
It also puts me in the mind to write. At least I was...until I just accidentally deleted all the items in my inbox in my email that I wanted to keep. ARGH!! Anyone want to strangle a computer? That's me!! sigh.
But...I think I'll take a break from the computer and go relax with a book for a few minutes. I have lots of writing I need to do today, and no one to bug me or make me feel guilty while I do it...so not a very long break, but a break.
I hope you get a break today...I hope you enjoy wherever you are at. Life is grand.

New Year thoughts

Well...I haven't been very good at keeping the blog thing up in the past couple of months, because my work no longer allows access to it. It's harder for me to squeeze time in at home, I'm trying to do so many other things there. (I know...I'm supposed to be doing all sort of stuff at work, right?)
Anyway...I think it is so ironic how we as a human race have to measure time. How we have to have a calendar of months and days.
Don't get me wrong...I find it's very needful. I think, though, that the seasons are more defining fore me than the dates. I love winter...but I find toward March that I'm ready for spring. Summer lasts a little long for me...but I love when fall comes with the crisp air and the turning of the leaves. It's my favorite time.
I think the New Year brings up a contemplative turn in all of us. I think it has to do with the idea that we get to start over. That it's a New Year...the old one is gone and can't be redone...we have the new one to work with now. You know, the whole image of the old codger and the new little baby representing the years? I don't know why they feel the old year has to look like it's an old man about to fall over...personally, I don't think that helps with self image...LOL.
But...in all my rambling thoughts and desires, I hope that you look forward to this new year with lightness of heart and determination.
Go forward and work at your future. Become who you want to be. Make a difference, somewhere, somehow--it doesn't have to be big. Just a small difference. Kind of like the Pay-it-forward idea. A small difference in the life of one person has repercussions to many.
Happy New Year.

The glories of Fall

Well...I know I keep writing about the colors and wonder of fall, but I've been waiting for a really good picture to post so everyone can see my favorite tree. Our tree in the front yard is a maple tree, and it's wonderful in the fall. It starts at the top, and some of the sides and changes gradually from green to red tips and then full blown golden yellow. When the afternoon light shines on it, it seems to glow. I could lay down on the floor and just gaze at it all day.
Now doesn't that just make you smile?

Have You Forgotten?

I have to make a quick post this morning, as I've run out of time. I have so much to say, and invariably, I run out of time to say it in. Sigh.
I said a lot in a short story I wrote a month or so ago, and I'm going to put the link here so that you can read for yourself.
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1101204

Have you forgotten this day 5 years ago? Where were you when the towers were falling? Were you watching TV like most of us, glued with horrified fascination that something so terrible could happen to us? We have been so protected in our nation. We don't have attacks that others could almost count daily. We are protected by the very government many protest, derile and abuse.

Granted, there are many in our government who are only there for political gain, power and prestige. But there are still those who are there to serve the people and protect our rights.

Have you forgotten that day? Have you forgotten the feelings of fear as you looked in the sky and wondered if your city was next? I remember watching our fighter jets fly over head, so very thankful that they were there!!

I wear a pin today that I got from my brother who is now a retired sheriffs deputy. It says "United we Stand". How many of us have forgotten?

We cannot forget! We as a people tend to get lazy and lax when fear dissipates and we don't remember to do the things that are necessary.

Please remember this day. Honor those who gave their lives for others and for our freedoms every day in the mid east.

This war is important. Despite what the right-wing would have you hear, believe and do--we are doing the right thing. This war needs to be fought--where it is being fought. Or we just might have it in our own backyard.
Never Forget.

I won't.

I'm Excited!!

Okay...first I'm suffering the pangs of post-vacation blues, and now I'm so excited, I'm not sure how to handle it.
First...we went on a cruise to Alaska, and it was so much fun! We love cruising anyay, but Alaska is the best when your suffering from 100+ weather. Everyone say with me...ahhhhhh. grin.
Then, we get home, and my book is out! At last! I am an officially published illustrator! I had the opportunity to illustrate a book for a woman that was compiling columns she'd written for the newspaper. It was so much fun, and such a surprise. It's thrilling to see it in printed form.
Here is a couple of the illustrations that I did for it. And yes...all of them are copyrighted!!!
I took it to work and bragged all day, so I guess it's time to brag here. This is the link if you want to see it and perhaps (YES--you want it!!) purchase it. ;)

http://www.rosehavenpublishing.com/index

Not Pioneer Stock...or feet

I've decided I would never have made a good pioneer. I can't handle heat very well. Trecking across the plains in the blazing sun, wearing three layers of clothing and long sleeves with a bonnet would have done me in. Let alone the shoes! I would have been one of those will calused soles of at least an inch thick walking the whole trail without shoes. ugh.
And the cooking? Every meal a dutch oven surprise? Wouldn't have happened after the first two months. Then I would have been telling everyone to make sure the buffalo meat got dried, cause I wouldn't be cooking anymore. My favorite summer meal is pasta salad and lemonade. How often do you think they had lemonade?
Let alone the winters...tramping through snow with no shoes and nothing but blankets would have done me in as well. I guess I'm a wimp all the way around.
Then let's talk about city life. Getting to Salt Lake, they didn't have real civilization until they'd been there for about 10 years. And then, the outside world didn't really invade until the rail road made it through. I've got this problem with mail, see, I like to get it all the time. I would have felt sooo isolated--I was born in the city.
I figure that's okay though...Pioneers would probably have been way confused and frustrated with our lifestyle. I mean, a cell phone? Why would you want to have contact with your children while they were in the forest relieving themselves? ewe! Let alone a car--that would have been way beyond their comprehension. Let's see how they would have done changing a tire in the middle of a snowstorm without an overpass to protect them from the snow or slush flung by passing cars... Or working at a job they didn't necessarily like for 8 hours a day, with an hour commute in rush hour to get home and sit in front of a television which showed 'reality' shows and how other people had more money than they did.
Let's face it, everyone had more money than the pioneers. That would have been no reality show, it would have been life.
I don't know. It just amazes me how these people had the strength and fortitude to make that journey and live during the time period they lived in. Makes you wonder what we could do if we put our minds to it. What kind of inner strengths do we have? What kind of feats could we pull off?
Interesting to think about, isn't it? Have a good one!

World's Fastest Indian

I really hope that anyone that watches this movie doesn't take America on that assumption--short of how everyone manages to help him reach his goal. The start of his trip isn't too auspicious, but at least he finally gets to the Salt Flats.

I was so impressed with this movie. I loved how everyone rallied around him and helped him reach his goal when they realized how far he had come to fullfill it. It makes me take an evaluated look at my own life and my own dreams. How far am I willing to go to reach them?

I think most of my life has been one of convenience. If it worked, I did it. I didn't really strive hard for anything, outside of my marriage and my children. But this past year I've discovered that I do have the capability to achieve what I set my mind to. I never thought I could. I've discovered that I can make myself write everyday. I can control what I eat. I can make myself walk. It's been an eye opening experience.

Have you done that lately?

Relationships- Joy and Pain

Well...this month is kind of a mile stone for me. My husband and I will have been married 20 years on our anniversary this month. It hardly seems possible. We shake our heads at each other, knowing it just doesn't seem like that amount of time has passed.
And then we look at our twin daughters that turn 19 this year, and know there is no getting around it, we've gotten old when we weren't looking. Not that we are OLD...grin, but older. Probably a little bit fuddy duddy.
Although, one of my twins will tell me every time that she has a sexy mom...grin. (I think I'll keep her...)
Our relationship has never been perfect, although I would say it was close. I love him more now than I did then, and that always amazes me. I think he is truely more handsome now than he was then, and I thought he was ohhh so good looking then. sigh. Now his face has richness and character that I just love to gaze at all the time. It's simply wonderful.
He claims he is a lousy husband and an okay father, and I have to argue. He is a wonderful father, simply because he loves our children with a deepness and intensity that they have no clue. Some day they'll understand, and then they'll appreciate him more.
While he is perhaps, not the most perfect of husbands, I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. He loves me in such a way that I know he is missing me. I know he wants to spend time with me. It is a wonder and something I'm always thankful for. He loves me.
At the same time, I wonder if he realizes how much I love him. I was reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks the other day, and thinking about how couples fall into routines during the child raising years. One of my husband's fears is that we won't have anything to talk about when our last child has left the home and we are alone with each other.
I count the days sometimes...
That is one of the things I fell in love with. Our ability to talk about anything. There was no uncomfortable, heavens-what-do-I-talk-about with him--I remember laying on my bed, listening to him talk on the phone and being amazed at the conversation. That was before we even started dating.
After a while, I began to really respect him and his integrity. It is a quality I admire and look for, and he has it in spades. If my husband says he will do something, you can count on him to do it (at least if it's outside our family...grin-sometimes the simple stuff gets lost in the shuffle). He is also extremely loyal, especially as an employee. I am so impressed with how he handles himself and works at doing his job. How he provides the best he can for me and the children. I thank God in my prayers every night for the blessing of having him in my life.
He supports me as best he can in my endeavors, such as writing and painting and whatever else I mention I want to do.
Unfortunately, I have to admit I don't feel I've been as good at it with him. He has had to point it out a couple of times, and it makes my heart ache. I never intend on being selfish, I never thought I was that kind of person, but there are times in our relationship where I feel that is what has happened. It's all about me...mom...wife...what do I get out of things? I want things a certain way...I want to spend money on this and money is tight. He hates having to say no, so sometimes he will say yes just because he knows it's something I want. Even if it's just a trinket that I could simply live without. He would buy me the world if he could.
On the other hand, I tend to be more concious about the money when HE is the one spending it. But, in my mind, I feel he won't accept spending money on himself. He's told me several times that he doesn't feel right spending money on shoes for him when one of the kids needs them, etc. Even though he hasn't gotten a new pair of shoes in at least two years... let alone Sunday shoes that he's had since his mission...sigh.
So...then I try to find him what he wants in the least expensive way possible so he doesn't feel guilty, and he feels that I'm trying to spend as little as possible on him. He tells me that there's no way I can win, but he loves the effort.
He's a little depressed about our anniversary. He wanted to take me to Hawaii, or somewhere else really special since our honeymoon was pretty basic, thought I loved every minute of it. We simply can't afford it. However, my sister owns a condo in a ski city nearby, and we're going to spend a couple of nights there.
My biggest excitement is that my mother-in-law is taking us on a cruise a month after our anniversary. I figure that counts...although he's not paying for it, it's still a chance to be romantic. We're trying to figure out how we can avoid his family for the seven day cruise...
;)
Anyway, I guess what I'm rambling on about, is it's amazing how our perceptions, our desires and our characters change over time. You get married, you think life is at it's best and can't get any worse. Then you have children. Unimaginable stresses come upon your relationship and you have to work at staying together. Then, you do something else...loose a job, or remodel a home, etc. Those add even more stress, and it's not unusual to have couples fighting over the color of the bathroom tile when it seems a trivial thing. (trust me...I had no idea my husband would have definite ideas on what he wanted the house to look like, I thought it was all up to me!)
Marriage relationships take work and dedication--more than any other thing you will work on in your life. An nothing else will be as meaningful in the long run.
Except perhaps sharing that relationship with your children.

Summer Time Blues

I realize it's a little early in the summer to bewailing it already, but I am. It's only three days into vacation time, and already I'm thinking of stringing up my three younger sons.

It's not entirely their fault...but then again, it is. They figure that school is out, they can do as they please. Play chess or checkers all day--play with legos until they are scattered all over the house (don't you lOVE stepping on those sharp little buggers?)--run outside and climb all the trees (which is one of the reasons we live here, so they CAN do that...grin).

But the clutter and chaos of the house is ignored in all of this, and that's what drives me crazy. I've never been a neat fanatic--ask anyone in my family. Any flat surface tends to be piled on. HOWEVER (grin) I have to say that I have turned a new leaf - so to speak - and now try very hard to keep those surfaces clean. I don't do it as often as I'd like to, and so they do start piling up. But, it's much better than it used to be, and so I tend to notice it rather quickly.

Especially when it's my children doing the piling.

Say whenever they clear off the table for dinner...any flat surface will do to put the items they are taking off. Regardless as to their importance or ability to be found later. (we have discovered this much to our dismay) Then, we have a wood buffet that my husbands grandmother made with her own two little hands... It's gorgeous, but it has several flat surfaces that my autistic son feels is his duty to decorate. I still have Christmas stuff on there, so it's not entirely his fault...(grin) Then we have the children's desk...which is an old workshop desk with a spot for four people and four drawers on each side that has become a flat surface with legs...you can't see the top of it for the papers piled on it now. You know how it is, end of school, clean out the desks...bring everything home and dumped it on the biggest flat surface you can find? Which is usually the floor...and then we have to make everyone pick them up and it ends up on the desk.

So...the purpose of this rambling diatribe is that one of my projects for the summer, is to declutter my living spaces. This morning it was finding the garbage can that belonged in the laundry room and picking up the floor so that you can tell there is cement down there. (well...cement is better than - um, dirt...grin) I came back up to realize that everywhere I looked there was a flat surface that needed attention. Sigh.

So...now that my older girls are out of the home and no longer help in the cleaning department...it's mainly up to me to whip things into shape, along with training my sons. My youngest is learning how the dishwasher works. That's been real fun, I can tell you. And he's also on the kitchen for his daily chore and getting the message that he needs to sweep out from under the table has been difficult...(I know that hamburger bun looks petrified, but it doesn't count for a collection...)

So...I have to remind myself- I love these children, I wanted them, and it's more important to train them and love them and create a loving environment than to have a perfect house. I've long ago given up on the perfect house...now I'd just like the de-cluttered one. Is that too much to ask?

Only 82 more days until school starts... ;)

Happy Mothers Day...I think...

Well...I realized that I should have posted something in honor of this day and that I was remiss. This day always leaves me feeling torn and conflicted. Torn because I want to go choke all the emotional outpourings of perfection from the speakers I have to listen to, and conflicted with the joy those little cherubs bring to my life.
You see...I love my children, and I'm very thankful I have them--but there are many times when I really wish they belonged to someone else.
Ever have thoughts like that?
Now that two of my children have 'left the nest' so to speak, mother's day was really strange. One daughter came and spent some time with us--bringing gifts. It was sweet. The other one called, so I had that. She'd totally forgot it was mother's day. Who was there to remind her? No one.
Isn't that what mothers are for? (grin)
I hate sitting through church meetings where they espouse the wonders of the mothers past and present and make the rest of us--who are not quite Molly material--feel even less so. My children are quick to tell me they think I'm great, and there have been times when I've been Molly-ish, but I'm not really.
It's never been my goal in life. I did not grow up dreaming of the day I'd become a mom, and think of all the fun things I would do with my kids.
Kids used to scare me.
I just dreamed of getting married and living happily ever after with the man of my dreams. Never mind that he had visions of children dancing around in his head--primarily nine of them so he could have his own baseball team. (grin)
Well..he didn't end up with that many, but he got more than the one or two I'd thought about. And I wouldn't give up any of them for any amount of money--despite the fact they drive us crazy and make us wish teenagers disappeared until they were 25.
So...with that in mind, I am thankful for my blessings. It was a wonderful day, I didn't have to cook, the children were calm and played well together. We sat outside and talked while I relaxed on my porch swing and admired all of God's creations.
It was truly a wonderful day.
I hope yours was too.

Update for the staple crowd...

Well... I figured it was time to put an update out here on the ear staple.

I haven't lost any more weight... But as I think I've said (was it another post? grin) I haven't GAINED any more either. The problem is, I'm not sure if it's the ear staple, or the gradual change of my diet. I've been really changing the way I eat. I don't eat a lot of bread any more, and I try to eat as much veggies and fruit as I can. I'm also taking a lot of vitamin pills and stuff to help with the way my joints feel, and I think the combination is helping.

I do feel better. Lots better. I feel like I'm getting thinner, although the scale doesn't indicate that. My hubby is sure that I'm melting from the top down...(grin) I don't mind, as long as it makes it to the hips! (LOL)

So...if that depresses some of you, I'm sorry! Don't let it. The staple thing is a percentage thing. Only 20% are going to have that dramatic effect. The 20% that it doesn't do anything for, I feel for you. And the 60% of us that loose slowly and gradually, just sigh and keep at it. It didn't take me one year to gain all this weight, and it's not going to take one year for it to come off and stay off.
At least that's what I tell myself...
;)