Unfortunately, only those with children would be allowed to compete -- not that I have anything against those who don't have, can't have or do not want, children -- but only those that do could possibly understand all the nuances of the events.
We'd probably need a separate Olympics for those without children -- they would probably run along the lines of scheduling (hair, nails, work and shopping all within one afternoon, etc. grin)
So anyway, here are the events as I picture them (and I limited several of the events items to families of 4, since the thought of dealing with items more than that seems to send people into wide eyed panic):
Grocery Shopping:
Milk Jug Carry -- (how many jugs of milk can you carry in one trip without dropping and looking graceful at the same time?)
Bag Carry -- (how many plastic vs. cloth (eco friendly) bags in one trip without dropping, cringing, dying, etc.)
Cart Filling (how much you can fit in one cart without dropping, crushing or tipping -- smiling all the time)
Coupon/Bargain Hunting -- (the most coupons used in a shopping trip, the best bargains in the store, etc.)
House Cleaning:
Fastest Dusting (how many rooms can you dust in 30 minutes)
Window Cleaning (inside all -- outside of reachable without ladders)
Vacuuming Queen (all carpeted rooms in 30 minutes or less and adding dance to your event brings even more points)
Laundry:
Quickest Sorting (not just darks and whites, but warm and cold -- items for family of 4)
Quick fold and sort (all clothes out of the drier, folded and sorted to owners -- family of 4)
Sock Match (how many socks can you match together in 5 minutes - family of 4, one weeks worth)
Home Exercise:
Stair Aerobics (how many times up and down stairs in 20 minutes without breathing hard or clinging to the railing)
Garden Stretching (how far can you hoe without over balancing, weeding from your waist)
Leaf Raking (How much can you rake in 30 minutes)
Lawn Mowing (using a push mower, how fast can you mow a slightly sloped hill, 20' x 30' and make it look easy)
Milk Jug Press (how many times can you lift and lower two full jugs of milk in each hand?)
Multi Tasking:
More than one task -- make the team, your female.
More than three, Bronze
More than four, Silver
More than five -- Gold!
Shopping Queen:
Car Parking (how close to the doors can you park?)
Cart Maneuvering (how often do you pick a cart that has a squeaky wheel or turns to one side...how well are you able to dodge other shoppers?)
Store Lapping (how many times do you go around the store?)
Everything in one lap - GOLD!
Two laps, Silver
Three laps, Bronze
Four laps...you have ADHD and need a friend to keep you in line.
Of course, this idea brings sooo many other types of Olympics to mind. We could have the men's Olympics, with sports watching or playing, couch potato sitting, etc., and we could do teenager Olympics, where they compete for how long they sleep, complain, and play the Wii...grin.
I guess competition is an ingrained thing, and the more we compete, generally -- the better we get at whatever we do. My daughter asked why there weren't athletes that competed in more than one thing; such as why they didn't do swimming and track, or gymnastics and something else. I told her that everything was so specialized now, that they trained differently for every single sport.
There are a few crossovers, such as in swimming and diving, but I guess that it's a related aspect and doesn't cause too much problems. I like the idea. I mean, it's kind of like the Gymnastics allaround, isn't it? They compete on more than one apparatus.
I'll bet you can come up with additions to the Housewife's Olympics. I'd love to hear them...
For more info or to order tickets click here...
Return to the Neighborhood
1 comment:
Oh My Gosh! That was funny! Sign me up, I'm sure I can excel in some of the areas for sure! :)
What about how fast can you change a toddler's diaper while they run fast? Clean one teen bedroom in under 3 hours? run 4 kids to different activities all over town in 30 mins?
The list is endless!
Post a Comment